Months ago, my interest in art forgery began with a tale of high-end forgery and black market expertise stumbled into by my artist while he was on another mission entirely.  So I was primed when I read a favorable review of a new book by art historian Jonathan Lopez. “The Man Who Made Vermeers” is the story of a forger selling “Vermeer’s” to high ranking Nazi’s and fooling experts and generally having a fine time.  I made a mental note to contact my library and have a copy “held”.

Some time later, days or weeks I cannot say, I read a notice that Mr. Lopez is to give a lecture at the National Gallery of Art and be available to sign his book afterward. For free.

That was today and you can bet I went. The lecture held the interest of a standing room only audience in the National Gallery’s large auditorium, and Mr. Lopez received a warm and lengthy applause for his fine presentation.

Of the many ideas Mr. Lopez planted during his talk, I was particularly held by the proposal that this forger, van Meergeren, was a partner in crime with Hitler.  In queue to meet the author this suggestion became food for deep thought.

During the wait, musing my deep thought, epiphany!  And just that suddenly I knew What Would Be Hilarious to have the author sign.

Mr. Lopez thoughtfully received everyone and was happy to make any personalization or dedication and listen and be as easy and likeable as anyone.  To the kindhearted query “would you like an inscription?” I responded, “not an inscription really, but if you would sign your porn name” “you know, your childhood pet’s name and the street you lived on” “your porn name” “that would be great”.

I know, brilliant. A scholarly work of art history, first edition hardback, signed by the author using his porn name…I mean I wasn’t asking him to forge a signature, although I confess that temptation, but to have his nom de guerre (French for Porn Name) by his hand, really who wouldn’t want this book?   I bet you want it right now.

For a moment, a long moment, I thought he would go for it.   In retrospect I believe he was shocked and only appeared thoughtful.   Declining to sign his porn name, he noted it seemed like fraud…I countered, “it’s your porn name”, he offered to make a personal inscription, I was still trying to convince him as he signed and dated my copy and didn’t have me escorted from the premises or anything a smaller person would have done.

The Man Who Made Vermeers, buy it. And if you can, go see Mr. Lopez’s lecture, tell him Yo-yo Monaghan sent you. http://www.themanwhomadevermeers.com/appearances.html